Real Ultimate Power

1. Beatniks are mammals.
2. Beatniks drink coffee ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the beatnik is to flip out and kill squares.

Weapons and gear:

Testimonial:

Beatniks can kill anyone they want! Beatniks cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy they flip out ALL the time, Daddy-O. I heard that there was this beatnik who was reciting poetry at a cafe. And when some square didn't snap their fingers afterwards the beatnik killed the whole town. My friend Jack said that he saw a beatnik totally uppercut some dude just because the dude told him to shave his goatee.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that beatniks have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Beatniks are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my threads. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally cool, man, cool and that's the word from the bird. Beatniks are hip, smooth, cool, groovy, intellectual, and happenin'. I can't wait to start yoga and Zen Buddhism next year. I love beatniks with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about beatniks?
A: Beatniks are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, beatniks are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that beatniks are always dirty or high. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total drag. Just like other mammals, beatniks can be high AND out of sight.

Q: What do beatniks do when they're not playing bongos or drinking coffee?
A: Most of their free time is spent smoking weed, but sometimes they do LSD. (Ask Jack if you don't believe me.)